‘Big bugs with bad attitudes’
Bite Me! is a 2004 American science-fiction comedy horror feature film about large mutant insects on the loose in an exotic dance club.
Written and directed by Brett Piper (Outpost Earth; Queen Crab; Arachnia; Drainiac!), the movie stars Misty Mundae (Shock-O-Rama; Mummy Raider; Vampire Strangler; et al), Julian Wells (Lust for Dracula; SpiderBabe; Doctor Jekyll & Mistress Hyde), Rob Monkiewicz (Screaming Dead; Arachnia; Psyclops), Erika Smith (Skinned Alive; Splatter Beach; Shock-O-Rama), Michael R. Thomas (House of the Wolf Man; Vampire Vixens; Mistress Frankenstein), Caitlin Ross (Shock-O-Rama) and Sylvianne Chebance (Shock-O-Rama; Screaming Dead). Produced by Jeffrey Faoro and Michael Raso.
A failed drug deal results in biologically engineered marijuana being delivered to the Go-Go-Saurus, an exotic dance club known for giant dinosaur statues in its parking lot.
Club owner Ralph Vivino (Michael R. Thomas) is worried because if anything goes wrong at the club, his rival Theresa (Julian Wells) will take over.
Insects that fed on the tainted pot and mutate to become bloodthirsty, giving Ralph and the club’s dancers, Crystal (Misty Mundae) and Trix (Erika Smith) immediate problems as the bugs infest the club, sucking blood and causing mayhem. Ralph enlists an ineffectual exterminator, “Buzz” O’Reilly (Rob Monkiewicz), who is later aided by Crystal who has received a stimulating bug bite.
Meanwhile, crazed DEA agent Myles McCarthy (John Fedele) arrives to destroy the shipment. However, he unwittingly helps the bugs mutate further…
“The real influence of Mary Jane more likely manifested at the script stage!) While B-sirens Misty Mundae and Julian Wells admirably pole dance their heavenly hearts out, it’s Mr. Piper’s skittering B-U-G-S that truly earn tiny thongs stuffed full of twenties. Brett also provides super-ham John Fedele the long-illusive means to exercise his crazed comedic demons — not to mention a spectacular final-reel transmutation any screen hog would squeal for!” DVD Talk
“One of the posters on the strip club manager’s wall was for Barbed Wire Dolls. I wouldn’t put Bite Me! in the same category as that sleaze masterpiece but I had some fun watching it. The spiders were cheap, the strip club looked like an abandoned garage, the strippers were sleepy but Bite Me! is good for some cheap Saturday night entertainment.” Doctor Gore’s Movie Reviews
” …it’s most successful as a goofy little comedy with (mostly) incorrigible characters. Piper obviously loves actors, and they respond forthwith (dare I say it?) nuanced performances that are energetic, fun to watch, and never veer into over-the-top burlesque — they don’t wear you out for the sole sake of hogging the limelight away from their co-stars.” eFilmCritic
“Director Brett Piper’s freaky, weed-munching stop-motion bugs invade the Go-Go Saurus, and the strippers, lead by the world-famous Misty Mundae, and the always-wonderful Erika Smith have to fight to survive! Add in a dumb exterminator who is kind to spiders, a crazy DEA agent searching for ‘Mr. Big”, a couple of feuding mobsters, and you have one fun, wacky, B movie!” Indie Film Cafe
” …if you understand what kind of film this is, there can be no question: Brett Piper just wanted to throw in a bug man-creature, and has a lot of fun going through the different stages of the mutation. Okay, this may not be one of his best films, and it seems more a collection of great moments that a coherent whole. But it is still a wild, goofy ride, which gives Brett and his cast a lot of moments to shine.” Rivets on the Poster
“The script is unfocused, flabby, and at times redundant. While there are some very funny bits in the beginning of the film but they are surrounded by material that sets up a subplot that never really pays off […] Still, Bite Me! is a fun little movie. It’s worth seeing it you like cheesy monster films or if you’re a fan of Misty Mundae or any of the other actresses appearing in it; they actually get to act in it, and they’re good!” Terror Titans
“While this suffers from not keeping up its dopey pace and it looks a bit too cheap at times; this is still a mildly amusing horror/comedy that keeps its tongue firmly in cheek and trots out lots of silly dialogue, a few humorous moments […] and decent acting all-around by the cast. It’s nothing overly special and the effects range from alright to weak, but there’s enough here to make it worth a watch for fans of trashy cinema.” The Video Graveyard
” …a fun, cheesy bit of cinema that embraces its low-budget roots while striving to be more than an average B-movie.” He praised Piper’s direction and included that “the whole cast manages to be pretty funny and, at times, clever — a remarkable feat” The Wire
Main cast and characters:
Erin Brown … Crystal/Iris (as Misty Mundae)
Julian Wells … Teresa
Rob Monkiewicz … Terence “Buzz” O’Reilly
Erika Smith … Trix
Michael R. Thomas … Ralph Vivino
Caitlin Ross … Amber
Sylvianne Chebance … Gina
John Paul Fedele … Myles McCarthy (as John Fedele)
Carl Burrows … Eugene Frack (as Carl ‘Doc’ Burrows)
David Fine … Frack’s Cobhort (as Dave Fine)
Justin Wingenfeld … Rupert (1st Moron)
Chris Mimikos … Herschel (2nd Moron)
Igor Fernandez … Cop
Tanisha … Cop
James Jankiewicz … Ringer in Bar Fight (as Jim Jankiewicz)
Tom Taggart … Ringer In Bar Fight
Full film free to watch online: