Alien Express (formerly known as Dead Rail) is a 2005 film directed by Turi Meyer and stars Lou Diamond Phillips, Amy Locane, Barry Corbin, and Todd Bridges. The film was released direct-to-video on August 13, 2005.
A new bullet train is speeding passengers to Las Vegas, along with a U.S. Senator from Texas running for president, when a meteorite crashes into a car near the tracks, releasing a tiny creature. The train stops to survey the damage, and the police are called. This stop allows the creature to board the train before it once again speeds off. Once it kills and consumes everyone aboard the train, it begins to grow and multiply into many differing creatures…
“Alien Express is a trainwreck of a movie, and yes, trainwreck is the opportune word here. The movie wants to be “Critters on a train” but the campy aspects of the movie aren’t amusing enough, the characters are almost all one-dimensional, and the story is too clichéd; all of which could be overlooked if the monsters at least delivered. They don’t.” Dread Central
“These extraterrestrials are quite possibly the worst looking space creatures this side of those boot-crushable fuzzballs in Gremlins (1984). They have cartoon-sized plastic teeth, growl like an unfed stomach and zip around so fast as to be almost invisible. Besides a taste for human flesh, their blood is methane, or “farts.” When the creatures are lit, they do the blue flame mambo and explode. The dialogue should count as comedy it’s so bad (“We’ve got to get those aliens somehow…and we’ve got to do it NOW!”). The “you’ve got to be kidding me” ending of Alien Express (2005) is but whipped cream on this turd sundae.” Drinkin’ & Drive-In
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