KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park is a 1978 TV film about a rock band made up of superheroes who battle an evil inventor with plans for destruction at a California amusement park.
The movie was directed by Gordon Hessler (The Oblong Box, Cry of the Banshee, Scream and Scream Again) from a screenplay by Jan Michael Sherman and Don Buday. Also known as KISS in the Attack of the Phantoms
The film was aired by NBC at the height of the band’s popularity in the United States. However, poor acting and a semi-comedic script caused it to be regarded poorly even by most KISS fans. Despite or perhaps because of this, it has attained a degree of kitschy cult status. The film is hated by the band members themselves for the buffoonish way it made them appear. For years after its airing, no one who worked for the group was permitted to mention the film in their presence.
Filming for KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park began in May 1978, and it was produced by Hanna-Barbera (better known as the animation studio behind Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?, Most of the movie was filmed at Magic Mountain in California, with additional filming taking place in the Hollywood Hills. Much of the production was rushed, and the script underwent numerous rewrites. All four members of KISS were given crash courses on acting.
Before completing the script, screenwriters Jan Michael Sherman and Don Buday spent time with each KISS member, to get a feel for how they each acted and spoke. Ace Frehley, known for his eccentric behaviour, said little to the pair but “Ack!” As a result, Frehley was not originally given any lines, except to interject “Ack!” at various points. In the first draft of the script, Frehley was described as “monosyllabic and super-friendly. Communicating largely through gestures and sounds, Ace might be best described as an other-galactic Harpo Marx. Upon learning of his lack of dialogue, Frehley threatened to leave the project — soon after, lines were written for him.
In 1979, Avco-Embassy released KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park in cinemas outside the United States, with translations of the title Attack of the Phantoms. In some countries — Italy, in particular — the film was simply titled KISS Phantoms. The theatrical release featured a vastly different version of the film, with several scenes that did not appear in the original television airing added to the cut.
In theory, it is currently still available on DVD as part of Kissology Volume Two: 1978–1991, a collection of concerts and television appearances (however, this is the re-edited European version, which contains hardly any of Ace Frehley’s lines).
Previously, availability was limited to two brief VHS releases in the 1980s and a laserdisc release in 1991. In 2005, distributor Cheezy Flicks attempted to release the original TV film version of the film on DVD, but due to legal issues, the disc was quickly pulled.
Our review:
Here, as is told in Montmartre, is what Alice Cooper claims about the early origins of the rock group KISS. Cooper has said that the young musicians came worshipfully to him backstage, asking permission to model their own band as a mock-ghoulish brand of hard-rock, strong music accented by horror makeup and stage gimmicks, much in the fashion that had made Cooper a sensation.
Cooper gave his blessing to their ambition – but with the advisory (hopefully without hinting at lawsuits) not to be merely Alice Cooper copyists. KISS should come up with their own, unique and idiosyncratic makeup, costumes, and mythology; be semi-demonic superheroes or something, whatever, and boldly make their way. Paul Stanley, Peter Criss, Gene Simmons and Ace Frehley went along with the programme. And the rest is rock music history.
Consider, however, if things had gone slightly differently. In a parallel universe, we might be discussing Alice Cooper Meets the Phantom of the Park. Scary, eh?
Shown on American television as a Halloween-season offering, KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park is not accorded much respect by the snobs – including members of KISS themselves, who famously disdain it. But why wallop on something meant for children and family audiences, amid a strange decade?
Even musician-turned-movie-critic Marshall Crenshaw, in his Hollywood Rock guidebook, shows some affection for the feature in hitting the proper KISS notes for the group’s full-makeup comic-book/carnival heyday. Those including a few intact musical numbers such as “Shout it Out Loud,” “Rip and Destroy” and the anomalous soulful-slow ballad “Beth,” here sung by the band (who remain in full makeup and costumes over the entire run time, by the way) to emotionally comfort leading lady Deborah Ryan. The actress surely must have deserved some sort of thespian award for keeping a straight face throughout. Her character (named Melissa, not Beth), pines for her fiancé, a victim of electronic brainwashing by the “phantom” Abner Devereaux – Zerbe’s character is a disgruntled funfair employee in a fancy swivelling control-centre chair, but he has romantic designs on Melissa, in the nearest the screenwriters can get to a Gaston Leroux parallel.
As for the KISS ensemble themselves, their acting would later improve, to put it kindly. Gene Simmons perhaps comes off the best, owing to a majority of the Demon’s lines being dubbed-in animal growls – lions and other big cats, apparently, sorry, Peter Criss partisans. On that note, Crenshaw states that since Peter Criss failed to show up for post-dubbing sessions, somebody else provides his spoken vocals.
Trust me, the dialogue was not all that much to write home about. But when KISS, with cut-rate zap! light-show effect double-exposures, fight against robots disguised as classic Universal Pictures horror icons, one is somehow inclined to just forgive the silliness of the whole enterprise, the likes of which we will not often see again. Hopefully. Did you like my Bob le Flambeur reference up top there?
Charles Cassady Jr
Other reviews:
“Probably the best part about this movie is that although the songs KISS plays are from their heavy metal period, the rest of the soundtrack consists entirely of period disco wah-wah stuff (you know, the stuff that goes “wak-a-ticky wak-a-ticky” incessantly). Also, since it was a made-for-TV movie, there are convenient points to pause the movie to make a snack run.” It’s a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad Movie
“You’ll notice that when KISS eventually embark on their rescue mission, they do so very slowly because they’re still wearing their platform boots and can’t run in them, but no matter as they give way to their stuntmen at every possible opportunity (Ace Frehley’s stuntman is obviously black, bizarrely). The Spinning Image
“Maybe good for a laugh just cause it’s campy as f*ck and Gene Simmons walks around the entire movie like he’s trying to clinch in a huge turd, but I can’t recommend this for any reason. Avoid at all costs.” Happyotter
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