Cockneys vs. Zombies is a 2012 British comedy horror film written by James Moran and Lucas Roche. It was helmed by German-born director Matthias Hoene. It stars Michelle Ryan, Georgia King and Lee Asquith-Coe.
A group of Eastenders fight their way out of a zombie-infested London, led by an unlikely gang of amateur banks robbers and foul-mouthed plucky pensioners…
It’s good to see assorted legendary old-timers given major roles in a modern movie – Honor Blackman, Dudley Sutton, Georgina Hale, Tony Selby and Richard Briers are among the cast, though they are often given embarrassing and oddly demeaning dialogue to spout.
The younger cast are less impressive, though they do their best with their rather thinly drawn characters. Michelle Ryan sets out to present herself as a future action movie star, though the film doesn’t convince in her sudden transformation into a great shot and killing machine.
David Flint, MOVIES and MANIA
” …Cockneys vs Zombies is not as funny as it thinks it is. But it’s watchable and has a good cast, albeit playing paper-thin characters […] The film suffers from constantly swapping between the heist plot (handled better in Gangsters, Guns and Zombies) and the besieged OAPs.” MJ Simpson, 21st Century British Horror Films, Volume 2: White Settlers and Women in Black, 2021
“Much more interesting and dignified are the older cast members in a besieged care home. Led by Alan Ford, there are some nice moments and some much-needed originality here, a highpoint being Richard Briers’ first encounter with the undead. The blood-and-guts FX work is also of a good standard, but the film needs more than mere gore blimey.” The Guardian
“But though the characters in Cockneys vs Zombies are clearly genre-literate enough to know a zombie when they see one, there’s nothing smug about this film, and it never winks at you. It’s clever, but not in a postmodern, self-referential way. It just gets on with it. It delivers in every way a zombie movie should: it’s fun, tense in all the right places, and very, very gory.” SFX
“This 2012 zom-com combines the witty banter and comic hi-jinks of Carry On films of old with the flashy fast cut edits of a Guy Ritchie-styled mockney crime heist to produce one of the best British comedies in ages. In fact, having seen in countless times now, it’s as bloody brilliant as Shaun of the Dead.” Kultguy’s Keep
“It’s a shame that German director Matthias Hoene employs so many dull, sub-Guy Ritchie tricks with his camera. Scriptwriters James Moran and Lucas Roche do a much better job, avoiding nastiness in favour of melancholy sweetness and exploring the horrors of old age as much as the ghastliness of cynical “regeneration”. London Evening Standard
“The problem is, while Moran’s script is consistently inventive when it comes to showing us how to maim and kill zombies, there’s only so much you can watch without getting bored. The plot, which sees the group try and get to the OAP home, just isn’t strong enough to carry us through.” List Film
“1. Simple title and simple plot – check
2. Host of familiar faces doing “gawd luv a duck” voices – check
3. Minimal locations reducing production costs – check
4. Lots of Britishness; cue Double Decker bus – check
5. Competent direction, good FX, tense action, gags and dialogue – bugger, I knew I forgot something… ” TheDigitalFix.com
Michelle Ryan, Georgia King, Lee Asquith-Coe, Harry Treadaway, Alan Ford, Honor Blackman (Fright; The Cat and the Canary; Tale of the Mummy), Richard Briers, Dudley Sutton, Rasmus Hardiker and Jaspal Badwell.