Dear God No! – USA, 2011 – reviews

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[Total: 1   Average: 1/5]

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‘When the blood begins to flow, who will be left to scream…’

Dear God No! is a 2011 American exploitation/biker/horror film written and directed by James Anthony Bickert. A sequel, Frankenstein Created Bikers, was released in 2016.

Main cast:

Jett Bryant, Madeline Brumby, Paul McComiskey and Olivia LaCroix.

The film was funded on a shoestring by the producers and when they ran out of money a successful Kickstarter campaign was launched which raised $7665 to complete post production. The US DVD release is uncut but in the UK, the BBFC cut 1m 34s for its Monster Pictures release.

Plot:

1976: Outlaw motorcycle gang The Impalers tri-state rape and murder spree ends in a bloody massacre with rival club Satan’s Own. The surviving members seek refuge in a secluded cabin deep in the North Georgia mountains.

What first must of seemed like easy prey for a home invasion, became a living nightmare of depravity and violence. A young innocent girl being held captive may hold the key to the twisted secrets locked in the basement and the killing machine feasting on human flesh in the forest outside…

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Review:

Perhaps the bad taste might have had more impact if Dear God No! wasn’t so utterly incompetent on every level. But this is so shoddy, you have to marvel at the fact that they managed to shoot it on super 16mm without every frame being out of focus.

The editing is dismal, reducing what should be fast-paced action to a series of stilted moments that stay on screen far too long, the direction feels pretty much non-existent and the dialogue is atrocious. Performances are uniformly crap too. And here’s the thing – if you think that piss poor production values and lousy actors represent an ‘authentic’ grindhouse experience, then you are an idiot. Those films may have been cheap, they may have been crass and they may have been flat-out insane, but most of them were surprisingly competent within their own limited abilities.

Apparently, Birkert wanted this to feel like a movie that could’ve been made in the Seventies. He’s failed miserably. It looks like what it is – a smug, cynical mockery that manages to insult the much superior films it is riffing on.

David Flint, MOVIES and MANIA

Other reviews:

For fans of the more extreme end of this trend, it delivers the goods. For those with a less-hearty appetite for the horrors of our exploitation past, Dear God No! might go a bit far. In either case, the most likely outcome for most viewers will be a desire to put on an actual exploitation film instead.” DVD Verdict

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“The budget on Dear God No! is dangerously low, with the effects and production values just passable, but this is the beauty of exploitation revival. You can render a faithful homage to grindhouse on a shoestring budget because those films never aspired to be anything more than outrageous trash.” Horror-Movies.ca

Dear God No! flaunts its tasteless, violent, psychotic, bizarre excesses in the face of modern politically correct cinema … If depraved weirdness and blood-soaked mayhem is your thing, prepare to experience cinematic nirvana.” Melon Farmers Blog

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Bikers in horror films:

Bigfoot

Dawn of the Dead

From Dusk Till Dawn

The Pack (2010)

Psychomania

Werewolves on Wheels

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