There’s No Such Thing as Vampires (2017) reviews and overview

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[Total: 5   Average: 2.4/5]

There’s No Such Thing as Vampires is a 2017 American comedy horror film about teenagers that encounter vampires in a remote outpost.

Directed by Logan Thomas from a screenplay co-written with Aric Cushing.

The creature design and effects were created by Eric Fox at Morb-X studios.

Reviews [click links to read more]:

“As the movie progresses through a lacklustre second act, interest wains, the mash-up of horror classics, becoming tedious. And despite a third act, where interest is pulled back from the brink of collapse, the resulting film struggles to identify its voice and direction. However, despite this, there is enough to keep the viewer mildly engaged throughout, even when the screenplay stumbles.” Cinerama Film

” …after an attention-grabbing beginning, things flag a bit in the second act, as the story becomes a mix of Halloween slasher thrills and Terminator in the cop shop rerun. Though just when you think all is lost, the film suddenly peps up again, rallying to a surprising finale, the narrative taking a detour into unexpected territory…” CineVue

“The only thing missing from Thomas’s faithful recreation of cheesy 80s horror flicks is the VHS tracking marks on the print; everything else is present and correct. Throbbing Carpenter like soundtrack interspersed with anaemic FM soft rock tracks? Check. Ridiculous exposition that tries to make a chase movie more grand than it is? Double check.” Dark Eyes of London

There’s No Such Thing As Vampires start off as a whole lot of fun but it does sadly lose steam and momentum in the second half. The high-energy opening is replaced with a clumsily unfolding story that I’m not convinced makes complete sense. Still, I found myself enjoying the film far more than I expected…” Entertainment Focus

Cast and characters:

Meg Foster … Sister Frank – 31; Jeepers Creepers 3Haunted: 333; Shrunken Heads; They Live; The WindThe Legend of Sleepy Hollow; Welcome to Arrow Beach; et al
Raphael Sbarge … Detective Warren – Bates Motel; iZombie; Dexter; Bones; The Hidden II; Carnosaur; Monsters TV series; Werewolf TV series
Josh Plasse … Joshua
Emma Holzer … Ariel
Maria Olsen … Sigfreda
Judy Tenuta … Barbecue Becky – Deadly Crush
Matthew Dennis Lewis … Cameron
Tom McLaren … Detective Sykes
Katherine Rodriguez … May
Chiquita Fuller … Detective Lowery
Matt Perfetuo … The Twins
David A. Jørgensen … Oyvind
James Adam Tucker … Officer Davis
Mark Reininga … Officer Riley
Mike Perfetuo … The Twins

Notes:

In May 2017, it was reported that principal photography had been completed and the movie would be presented at the Cannes film fair that year.

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