SNOW SHARK: ANCIENT SNOW BEAST (2011) Reviews of one of the worst

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Snow-Shark-Ancient-Snow-Beast

Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast aka Snow Shark is a 2011 American horror film written and directed by Sam Qualiana, who also stars. The movie also stars Michael O’Hear, Jackey Hall and C.J.Qualiana.

Plot:
In 1999, a team of animal biologists investigating a rash of wildlife killings disappeared in the lonely woods near a small town. Years later, a local resident claims to have killed a prehistoric carnivorous creature living in the snow. Now, someone – or something – is making lunch of the locals…

Reviews:
“Beyond the lazy performances, lacking cinematography, and painful effects, simple-mindedness and stereotyping ring loud and clear. Minimizing the only female lead to another princess in need of rescuing and assuming that the man-eating beast must be female are ideas that should have been buried in the snow ages ago.” Horror Honeys

“It’s not all schlocky fun though, even at just under eighty minutes the film started to drag a bit, it’s about twenty minutes too long, a lot of the kills happen off screen and while what we see is indeed blood-soaked it’s not exactly grisly, though I did love Santa getting eaten by the snow shark – that was pretty cool kill.” McBastard’s Mausoleum

” …filtered through a Troma sensibility, complete with atrocious  acting (deliberately, one would assume), silly effects (ranging from a giant foam shark head noshing on the cast to miniatures and CG fins skidding through the snow), and even some gratuitous T&A.” Mondo Digital

“All of the cast are amateurs and there is some very bad acting – in particular a scene in a bar where Michael O’Hear goes on about his obsession with the shark, where his performance becomes so bugged-out as to defy belief. This is not helped by the fact that the dialogue sounds like lead balloons in the mouths of the actors.” Moria

“Playing out like a frosty, brain-damaged riff on Lake PlacidSnow Shark doesn’t win the race to the bottom of the shark-infested barrel. Maybe that’s small comfort, but this genre has been saddled with some truly abysmal offerings lately, and this one at least has the good sense to be less than 80 minutes long.” Oh, the Horror!

“I had a blast watching Snow Shark. It’s not a film that goes for goofball laughs, or outright, in-your-face hilarity. Instead, it lets the absurdity of the subject matter speak for itself, and paints a gut-punching picture of a sleepy town desperately in the thrall of a snow-surfing, man-eating shark.” Rabid Dog Press

” …if it’s not perfect, Snow Shark is fun. A fine mix of low budget humor and gore done without the need for false pretense, a very ‘in your face’ picture that knows exactly what it wants to do (entertain) and sets out to do exactly that.” Rock! Shock! Pop!

Snow Shark

Trailer:

The ten worst Christmas horror films ever:

Release:
Snow Shark was released on DVD on February 19th 2013.

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