Python – USA, 2000 – reviews

python

‘Created by Nature… Redesigned by Man’

Python is a 2000 made-for-TV horror film with comic overtones directed by Richard Clabaugh (scriptwriter of Eyeborgs) from a screenplay by Chris Neal, Gary Hershberger and Paul J. M. Bogh, based on a story by co-producer Phillip J. Roth (Roboshark; Lake Placid vs. Anaconda; Wrong Turn 6: Last Resort).

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Python was followed by three sequels: New Alcatraz aka Boa (2002), Python 2 (2002) and Boa vs. Python (2004).

Main cast:

Frayne Rosanoff, William Zabka (Python 2), Wil Wheaton (Sharknado 2), Casper Van Dien (Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf; Dracula 3000; Starship Troopers and sequels), Jenny McCarthy, Keith Coogan, Robert Englund, Dana Barron, David Bowe, Sean Whalen, Ed Lauter.

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Opening plot:

The crew of a plane gets nervous when the cargo it is carrying starts making noises and shifting. When one of the crew opens the crate, the pilot hears screams from the back. Something attacks him, causing the plane to crash near a town called Ruby.

Whatever was in the cargo survives the crash and begins attacking Ruby citizens, starting with a lesbian couple camping in the woods.

At a swimming hole the next day, John Cooper (Rosanoff), his girlfriend Kristin (Barron), his best friend Tommy (Wheaton) and Tommy’s girlfriend Theresa (Mornell) find a pet Ball python belonging to one of the dead women, Lisa.

Deputy Greg (Zabka) shows up, mentioning that Lisa is missing and takes the snake. Lisa’s body is found, appearing to have been corroded by acids…

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Buy: Amazon.co.uk

Reviews [click links to read more]:

“As terrible made-for-TV giant snake movies go, this is one of the less terrible. It has two ladies getting friendly in a tent, human bodies dissolved into bloody jelly by the acid in a monster snake’s digestive juices … and some not-so-unintentionally funny scenes like the one where a woman is attacked by the monster snake when she’s taking a shower…” CaliforniaHerps.com

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Python will never be mistaken for a classic, but if you can’t have a good time watching it, you really ought to see your doctor about the amount of stress in your life. This is a cookie cutter popcorn monster flick that is absolutely milked by a willing cast and capable director for every last ounce of fun its worth.” DVD Movie Central

Python is a horrible mess of a film; not only does the Python have an estimated screen time of around three minutes, but the film boasts an “ensemble cast” that doesn’t live up to any of the expectations of their previous accomplishments. Also Wil Wheaton has pink hair and still manages to uphold a respectable profession as a real estate agent.” Darren Fx, Letterboxd.com

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Buy for $0.01: Amazon.com

Choice dialogue:

“I don’t know you were going to bring that overgrown worm with you!”

“We’re gonna try the camp ground up at Crystal Lake and if it’s full, I dunno, we’ll play it by ear.”

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Cast and characters:

  • Frayne Rosanoff as John Cooper
  • William Zabka as Deputy Greg Larston
  • Dana Barron as Kristin
  • Robert Englund as Doctor Anton Rudolph
  • Casper Van Dien as Special Agent Bart Parker
  • Sara Mornell as Theresa
  • Wil Wheaton as Tommy
  • Jenny McCarthy as Francesca Garibaldi
  • Chris Owens as Brian Cooper
  • Sean Whalen as Deputy Lewis Ross
  • Gary Grubbs as Sheriff Griffin Wade
  • Theo Pagones as Dootsen
  • Scott Williamson as Kenny Summers
  • David Bowe as Boone
  • Keith Coogan as Lenny
  • John Franklin as Floyd Fuller
  • LoriDawn Messuri as Lisa Johnson
  • Kathleen Randazzo as Roberta Keeler
  • Ed Lauter as Pilot
  • Frank Welker as the Python (voice – he also voices Scooby-Doo and Fred)

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Filming locations:

Los Angeles, Malibu, and Santa Clarita, California

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