‘Terror has new teeth’
Malibu Shark Attack – aka Mega Shark of Malibu – is a 2009 Canadian/Australian action horror film directed by David Lister from a screenplay by Keith Shaw. It stars Warren Christie, Peta Wilson and Chelan Simmons.
Heather (Peta Wilson) is the head-lifeguard on a Malibu beach, alongside her ex-boyfriend Chavez (Warren Christie), Doug (Remi Broadway) and Barb (Sonya Salomaa).
Also on the beach are Jenny (Chelan Simmons), a teenage girl who is reluctantly cleaning the beach for community service after she got caught shoplifting, and Bryan (Nicholas G. Cooper), Barb’s boyfriend.
Chavez travels to a nearby house that is undergoing construction and meets with the workers Colin (Jeffery Gannon), George (Mungo McKay), Yancey (Renee Bowen) and Karl (Evert McQueen). Meanwhile, a tremor unleashes a group of living fossil goblin sharks who begin to devour swimmers along the beach…
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We’ve become used to all manner of silly shark movies in recent times. Film producers seem determined to come up with more and more absurd situations and sharksploitation variations, with Sand Sharks and Snow Sharks being particularly daft examples of this trend. But, hey, at least these movies are tongue-in-cheek.
On the other hand, the serious Malibu Shark Attack simply presents us with a bunch of unlikable characters besieged by the some bizarre-looking CGI sharks from prehistory and repeats itself ad nauseum. Shot-after-shot is used again and again, as if the film’s makers hoped we wouldn’t notice. Things improve slightly with some power tools vs. sharks action in a semi-flooded house, however it’s too little too late to save yet another inferior Maneater entry from mere mediocrity.
Adrian J Smith, MOVIES and MANIA
” …there are dangerous dives, twee news reports, gratuitous amounts of not-quite-nudity and some splashing round the corridors à la Deep Blue Sea. The sharks are fierce enough but either die instantly or survive ridiculous amounts of damage, according to the demands of the plot. Too much time is wasted just watching them swim about or ogling bronzed bodies on the beach…” Jennie Kermode, Eye for Film
” …it has all the expected marks from women in bikinis, heroic young men and being a TV movie characters which end up pretty anonymous as there is no room for character depth […] just another modern shark movie and whilst below average is not as terrible as many would have you believe. In fact it is one of those movies which works in an enjoyable bad movie way.” Andy Webb, The Movie Scene
” …David Lister generates fair and reasonable tension. The steps to get everybody there seem contrived, nevertheless the scenes with the cast trapped inside the lifeguard station on stilts in the midst of the flood water and surrounded by sharks that are trying to batter their way in maintains a reasonable pressure cooker situation.” Richard Scheib, Moria
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“The main problem is that Malibu Shark Attack is just mighty dull. We spend too much time locked in enclosed rooms with imaginary bumping against these rooms listening to Chelan Simmons howling, watching Warren Christie be a jerk and observing Peta Wilson wishing she’d stayed in college. That’s doesn’t make for inspired movie watching, and uninspired is what we got with Malibu Shark Attack.” Christopher Armstead, Film Critics United
” …on the plus side, it’s a fantastic comedy if viewed in the right frame of mind and this is why I give it such a boost in my personal rating. Movies like this one (and Mega Piranha and Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus) are often slated by every sane person in the entry world but to me they simply represent a CGI-equivalent of the old Bert I Gordon (Mr BIG) movies of yesteryear.” Kevin Matthews, Flickfeast
“Almost every shark attack suffers from a sense that it is completely random, without any suspenseful build-up, and the depictions of which quickly become visually repetitive. There appeared to be a finite number of goblin shark CGI visuals that kept getting looped over and over in accordance to the action of the scene. By the time the tsunami hit about a quarter of the way in, I was already bored…” Dread Central
“A badly executed idea. Wrong shark type, bad CGI, inexcusable shot non-continuity, and using way too many cliched horror tropes just buried this film.” Horror-Movies.ca
Goblin Sharks are:
- Once thought to be extinct,
- Unseen for millions of years,
- “probably blind”, but have “electrosensory organs”,
- Not bothered by nail guns or rotary saws,
Goblin Sharks can:
- Eat anyone just by swimming towards them, no need to actually bite,
- Phase shift themselves through wood floors when convenient,
- Swim faster than a jet ski,
- Be blown up by bottles of Windex and a flare gun,
- Jump out of the water and grab people, despite being, ya’ know, blind,
Peter Hall, Horror’s Not Dead
Main cast and characters:
- Remi Broadway as Doug (Scooby-Doo)
- Warren Christie as Chavez (Rise of the Damned; Beneath ; The Thing Below)
- Nicolas G. Cooper as Bryan (short: The Masque of the Red Death)
- Jeffery Gannon as Colin Smith
- Mungo McKay as George
- Evert McQueen as Karl
- Sonya Salomaa as Barb (The Tooth Fairy; House of the Dead)
- Chelan Simmons as Jenny (See No Evil 2; Hannibal; Tucker and Dale vs Evil; Final Destination 3; Chupacabra Terror; Snakehead Terror; Monster Island; Carrie ; It)
- Peta Wilson as Heather
- Renee Bowen as Yancey
Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
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