‘There’s a new mouth in the river’
Mississippi River Sharks is a 2017 American action horror film in which sharks attack a fish rodeo and it is up to a group of locals to stop them.
Directed by Misty Talley (Ozark Sharks; Zombie Shark aka Shark Island; editor of Ghost Shark and Arachnoquake) from a screenplay written by Marcy Holland (Ozark Sharks). Produced by Kenneth M. Badish and Daniel Lewis.
The movie stars Jason London (Nightworld; Dam Sharks; Zombie Shark), Miles Doleac, Jeremy London (7 Faces of Jack the Ripper; The Devil’s Dozen; Basilisk: The Serpent King), Cassie Steele (Zombie Shark; The Dorm; My Babysitter’s a Vampire), Dean J. West and Marco St. John.
Plot:
Sharks attack a fish rodeo on the Mississippi River, and it is up to a group of locals, along with a visiting actor from a successful franchise of shark movies, to fend off the killer fish…
Review:
Listen, Syfy has been showing shark films for over four years straight now. We’ve had zombie sharks. We’ve had toxic sharks. We had a ghost shark. We’ve had a planet of the sharks. The sharks have taken over the oceans. They’ve taken over the Jersey Shore. There’s even a movie called Sand Sharks, in which the sharks take over the beach! And, let’s not forget that Syfy and the Asylum have built an entire franchise around the idea that sharks can survive in a tornado. And I haven’t even mentioned what happens in Shark Exorcist.
My point is that there are a lot of shark movies and, as a result, the sharks are having to branch out and explore new aquatic territory. It was inevitable that the sharks would eventually find their way to the Mississippi River.
As soon as I saw the title of this movie, I thought to myself, “Please tell me that this movie will open with a big old riverboat getting attacked by sharks.” You can imagine how happy I was when, less than five minutes into the film, that’s exactly what happened. When you’re watching a movie on Syfy and you see a bunch of CGI sharks jumping onto the deck of a riverboat and snapping off people’s heads, you know you’re in good hands. You know you’re going to be properly entertained for the next hour and a half.
Really, when it comes to shark movies, all you really need are the sharks and some victims who, for whatever reason, refuse to stay out of the water. However, Mississippi River Sharks offers a bit more than that. After the sharks get finished with that riverboat, they move on down the Mississippi and attack a small town’s annual “fish rodeo.”
Needless to say, a fish rodeo always tends to attract the most eccentric among us and this one is no different. For instance, there’s Possum (Kevin J. McGrath), who isn’t going to let a little thing like a shark attack stand in the way of his quest to win a trophy. There’s Big Bill (Marco St. John), who owns the local car dealership and who doesn’t see why the presence of a few sharks should stand in the way of making a little money. There’s Wyatt (Dean West), who has a way with a quip and quickly emerged as a favourite of the viewing audience. And then there’s Tara (played by Cassie Steele, star of both Degrassi and Zombie Shark) who quickly shows that she knows just how to deal with ill-tempered sharks.
Finally, there’s Jason London, playing the role of …. Jason London! That’s right, Jason London plays himself in Mississippi River Sharks. In the film’s universe, Jason is well-known for starring in multiple editions of the Shark Bite franchise. (“We don’t talk about Shark Bite 3!” Jason snaps.) When Jason accepted the invitation to be the fish rodeo’s special celebrity guest, he never realised that he would have to face real-life sharks! However, when those sharks do arrive, this movie hero proves himself to be … well, not much of a hero. I’ll just say that London is hilarious and it’s a lot of fun to watch him pretending to be a pretentious and stuck-up movie star. He delivers his lines with just the right amount of weary annoyance.
Lisa Marie Bowman – guest reviewer via Through the Shattered Lens
Other reviews:
“Mississippi River Sharks has a tiny bit going for it and that starts with Jason London who is playing (I hope) a puffed-up version of himself here. He looked like he was having some fun and the subtle dropping of other bad shark movies he has done (and yes, some of those are coming here) was pretty funny.” The Inner Circle
“The dialogue offers a fun mix, from London’s dialled up performance to some cheesy one-liners to one of the worst southern accents around. Not a lot of quotable or overly wild lines, but some fun stuff is here and that earns some points. In terms of craziness, this one never goes for broke and seems content to be goofy, rather than outrageous.” Marc Fusion
“The water is muddy, so the sharks are blurry. The script is punctuated by slow comedic moments that are all anticlimactic. Every other scene slows the movie down.” Tales of Terror
Release:
The film debuted on the Syfy channel on July 31, 2017, as part of their Sharknado Week.
Cast and characters:
Cassie Steele … Tara
Jason London … Jason
Miles Doleac … Ray
Tahj Vaughans … Eric
Dean J. West … Wyatt
Michelle West … Allison
Terence Rosemore … Phil
Marco St. John … Big Bill
Jeff Pearson … Bill’s Assistant
Kevin J. McGrath … Possum
Nathan O’Neil Smith
Anthony Barbier … Fisherman
Danny Cosmo … Salty Fisherman
Flynn Foster … Tourist
Stephanie Davis Holmes … Spectator
Peyton Killingsworth … Shark Bite Girl
Ashton Leigh … Teaser Girl
Demorian Lizana … Truck Driver
Jeremy London … Jeremy London
Zany Madcap … Fisherman
Catherine Quinn … Mrs Chapman
Christopher Sonnier … Portly Fisherman
Josh Varnado … Teaser guy
Marcia A Vega … Spectator
Jaycie Walker … Fishing Rodeo Participant
Creek Wilson … Weigh Master
Filming locations:
New Orleans, Mississippi
Ocean Springs, Louisiana
Technical details:
1 hour 25 minutes
Audio: Stereo
Aspect ratio: 16:9 HD
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