‘First they greet you, then they eat you.’
Blood Diner is a 1987 American comedy horror feature film directed by Jackie Kong (The Being) from a screenplay by actor-composer Michael Sonye (Star Slammer; Frozen Scream). Rick Burks and Carl Crew starred in this homage to Blood Feast (1963).
Blood Diner received a limited release theatrically in the United States by Lightning Pictures in July 1987. It was released on VHS the same year by Vestron Video.
Most recently, the film was released on Blu-ray on September 27, 2016, as part of Lionsgate’s new Vestron Video Collector’s Series (which also includes Chopping Mall). The high-definition restoration was supervised by director Jackie Kong and cinematographer Jürg V. Walther.
- Audio commentary with director Jackie Kong
- The Cook, The Uncle, and The Detective featurette
- Open for Business featurette
- Scoring for Sheetar featurette
- You Are What They Eat featurette
- Archival interview with project consultant Eric Caidin
- Theatrical trailer
- TV spots
- Still gallery
Two brothers, Michael Tutman (Rick Burks) and George Tutman (Carl Crew) are brainwashed by their serial killer uncle Anwar Namtut (Drew Godderis) into completing his task of resurrecting the ancient Lumerian goddess Sheetar (Tanya Papanicolas). Their mission is given to them once they resurrect him from his grave. Anwar Namtut is from then on a brain in a mason jar that commands the brothers.
In order to complete their mission, the brothers must collect different body parts from many immoral women, stitch them together, and then call forth the goddess at a “blood buffet” with a virgin to sacrifice ready for her to eat.
The brothers choose women for their “blood buffet” from those that enter into their wildly popular vegetarian restaurant. Meanwhile, two mismatched detectives (LaNette LaFrance and Roger Dauer) work together to try to track them down before more carnage can ensue…
“While Blood Diner is a low-budget film, it’s artful and a far cry from the bottom of the barrel work of H.G. Lewis. It is decently shot, and while some effects, like Uncle Anwar (in brain form), are cheesy, the gore and makeup is quite good and actually seems to improve in quality (except when trying to be bad) as the films builds to its insane climax.” Duane Hicks, UK Horror Scene
“Blood Diner is played for laughs, and has its tongue planted firmly in its cheek the whole way through. It’s ridiculously dumb and hilarious, and I can’t help but love it.” Nick Durham, Death & Giggles
“The horror element has to have some punch, and even though Kong throws around copious amount of blood and vomit and numerous body parts (so much so that it had to be released unrated), it never comes off as grotesque, just icky. The comedy, then, has little to work against, so it ends up feeling hysterical and anxious, as if no one has any idea what is going on.” James Kendrick, QNetwork.com
“Blood Diner is a truly fun fun film. It’s heart is firmly in the right place, usually discarded just to the left of the severed rib cage of some half naked corpse. The black humor works, the silliness is enjoyable and the gore is plentiful and satisfying.” Luke, Horror.Land
“It is funny, full of some excellent death scenes, and is just a lot of fun to watch in general. If you are in the mood for something a little different that gives a ton of nods to Herschell Gordon Lewis’ Blood Feast in a number of wacky and over the top ways then you need to check this movie out as soon as you can.” Todd Martin, HorrorNews.net
“From the cruel hilarity to the eroticized misogyny to the Hitler tributes, Blood Diner is bitterly nihilistic, even for a black comedy. It’s enough to make one wonder what exactly was in Jackie Kong’s head when she made this, the swan song of her short and otherwise undistinguished career. It seems the work of an incompetent psychotic with a movie camera and an agenda against the world.” G. Smalley, 366 Weird Movies
“There’s an incredible sense of personal vision here, right down to the Soup Nazi caricature Police Sergeant, who is constantly hollering at his detectives that the “cannibal angle” they’re taking to try and solve the kidnappings is all wrong. In reality, Blood Diner is special because it isn’t for everyone.” Jacob Knight, Birth. Movies. Death
“Tasteless sleazeball low-budgeter redeemed by its satirical humor directed at the artificialities of horror films.” John Stanley, Creature Feature
Cast and characters:
- Rick Burks as Michael Tutman
- Carl Crew as George Tutman
- LaNette LaFrance as Sheba Jackson
- Roger Dauer as Mark Shepard
- Lisa Guggenheim as Connie Stanton
- Max Morris as Chief Miller
- Roxanne Cybelle as Little Michael
- Sir Rodenheaver as Little George
- Drew Godderis as Anwar Namtut
- Tanya Papanicolas as Sheetar/Bitsy
- Michael Barton as Vitamin
- John Barton Shields as Little Jimmy Hitler
- Effie Bilbrey as Peggy
- Karen Hazelwood as Babs
- Bob Loya as Stan Saldin
- Alisa Alvarez-Wood as Aerobic Girl
- Al Davis as Blonde Dancer
- Gene Wells as Doctor, Zombie, Wrestling Fan, EMT
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